There’s a common physical response that is the basis for a lot of our techniques in wrestling. If I snap your neck down, chances are you’re going to resist and pull your neck back up. If I push you back, chances are you’re going to push right back. It’s a natural reaction.
Newton’s 3rd law states, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” (In college, there was that awful song, “I dip, you dip, we dip”…ugh!). My point is that we teach people how to act based on how we act ourselves.
In my spare time of watching professional speakers on Youtube, I came across Jim Cathcart who has a very unique perspective on problem solving, the “partners in problem solving” approach. We all experience problem solving in one way or another – arguments with spouses (not in my house though!), conflicts at work, customer service, etc. I can speak from experience that I ALWAYS used to take the offensive. I took the “I’m right and you must somehow make it up to me!” approach. Think of that, I am trying to persuade someone to do something for me while offering nothing up in return, not even politeness nor a wee bit of understanding.
Flirt with the Jim’s “partners in problem solving” approach. Don’t try to persuade someone to do something for you; rather partner with them to develop a resolution. (There are times when partnering just ain’t gonna happen, I know).
If you’re like I used to be (and still am sometimes), try changing your tune. Add a little “I dip, you dip, we dip” to your life :) Be a partner in problem solving. Act in the manner in which you want to acted upon in return.
I want to hear your “partners in problem solving” stories.
Spaniard
About the author : cbrenneman
Three days after the birth of his second child, The Spaniard discusses Fathership (a Spaniard term): his gratitude, his hopes, his plans, and how little he and his wife are sleeping. What does this mean for you? The tale involving Sheetz will make you think about the power of example. The discussion of summer camp and iffy acquaintances will help you watch for good and bad influences. The story in the hospital will alert you to opportunities to make simple, difficult decisions for growth. Whatever your relationship to parenting—past, present, future, never—there are thoughts here to help you put your arms around what matters most to you. Also: The three inspirations for the new baby’s name!
Three days after the birth of his second child, The Spaniard discusses Fathership (a Spaniard term): his gratitude, his hopes, his plans, and how little he and his wife are sleeping. What does this mean for you? The tale involving Sheetz will make you think about the power of example. The discussion of summer camp and iffy acquaintances will help you watch for good and bad influences. The story in the hospital will alert you to opportunities to make simple, difficult decisions for growth. Whatever your relationship to parenting—past, present, future, never—there are thoughts here to help you put your arms around what matters most to you. Also: The three inspirations for the new baby’s name!
Latest videos
It’s host versus co-host. The Spaniard finds competition essential while Dread questions that. The Spaniard gives a wrestler’s and fighter’s appreciation of flesh-and-blood opponents: how they have shaped him, how they have often obsessed him, and how he sometimes has to search for their equivalents. The conversation highlights how competitors personify high standards and how the highest performance might require a winner and a loser. Also: Will baby Rocky let The Spaniard work out?
It’s host versus co-host. The Spaniard finds competition essential while Dread questions that. The Spaniard gives a wrestler’s and fighter’s appreciation of flesh-and-blood opponents: how they have shaped him, how they have often obsessed him, and how he sometimes has to search for their equivalents. The conversation highlights how competitors personify high standards and how the highest performance might require a winner and a loser. Also: Will baby Rocky let The Spaniard work out?
It’s host versus co-host. The Spaniard finds competition essential while Dread questions that. The Spaniard gives a wrestler’s and fighter’s appreciation of flesh-and-blood opponents: how they have shaped him, how they have often obsessed him, and how he sometimes has to search for their equivalents. The conversation highlights how competitors personify high standards and how the highest performance might require a winner and a loser. Also: Will baby Rocky let The Spaniard work out?
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